can we get nightvision for the apartment?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
