Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
