so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
