I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
