this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
