I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
