Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
