his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
