i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
