yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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