Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
