Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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