Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
