just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
