Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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