Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
