where am i from again
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Randomize
