I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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