he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
