the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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