I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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