so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
