I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
