and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
