i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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