Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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