I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
