I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
