It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
