How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He better not be in your backpack
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Shame - the story of my life.
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