Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
