id be glad to
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
