his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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