Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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