he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
