Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
