we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Be still, my beating vagina.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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