I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
