And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
