Non-Jews are for practice
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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