I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
