At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
