I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
