He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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