dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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