the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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