he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
