this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
