hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
