note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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