she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
