they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
