How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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