he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
