I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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