My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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