A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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