Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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